Listening to your heart’s desire
Have you ever pursued something that you thought you really truly wanted to do, and then you tried it and gave up? And you don’t know why?
I have. Many times.
My first memory of this is in 4th grade, when I decided that I wanted to learn how to play the guitar. I loved to sing, and I loved music. The guitar spoke to me. It was that simple.
So my parents bought me a guitar. And I practiced. I taught myself all the chords. And I spent loads of time in music stores checking out all the song books, piling up lists of songs I would teach myself.
Then one day, at my 5th grade spring school recital, I got my chance to play my favorite song, “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing” (if you’re old enough, you might remember this from the Coca Cola commercial). I remember singing and everyone singing with me. I don’t know if I played well or not, but I had a good time that day.
But then came the day, not long after that, when I set down my guitar and stopped playing. Just like that.
That was the day when I stopped listening to my heart, when I stopped loving myself.
At the time it didn’t seem that important, that vital. I was 10, so what? But looking back at the experience now through the prism of time and wisdom, I realized that it was just the beginning of something much more serious, and debilitating. That by the time I hit the ripe old age of ten, my actions were being driven by a negative force in my life that I wasn’t even aware of.
This realization came to me during a three day workshop called The Four Desires, based on the book by Rod Stryker, the founder of ParaYoga. In the workshop, we set an intention of creating our Dharma Code, a code to live by, based on our true calling and purpose from a soul level–what is known as destiny. People can frequently get disconnected from fulfilling their destiny due to a pesky little thing called resistance. Some call it head trash.
Much of the action we take in life is based on a set of beliefs, attitudes and thoughts that have controlled us since early childhood. That’s our subconscious at work. And if you look deep within you, will begin to see the reasons why we do what we do. Often these reasons do not have our best interest at heart.
Why did I stop playing the guitar at age 10? I dunno. Externally, there was no reason. I hadn’t been criticized or made fun of, in fact people liked my playing. But my Inner Critic probably told me I sucked. I might have felt like I didn’t deserve it. That I wasn’t good enough to play guitar. I was afraid I might get seen or appreciated for my talents. Rut-ro! That can’t happen! I need to stay small! It isn’t safe out there!
So I stopped, one day, without any explanation and never picked up the guitar again. Instead, I got roped into the playing the oboe in my school band. The OBOE. How the heck did that happen?
The Sanskrit word buddhi is the part of your mind that is attracted to truth, or Brahman. This is called our heart intelligence. You see, our heart is where our best knowledge is stored. It knows the real story. The heart knows you ARE worth it, that you ARE enough. There has been extensive research done on the power of the heart intelligence. The heart generates the strongest electromagnetic field of any organ in the human body, including the brain. Sometimes the heart and brain work against each other. The heart allows us to feel and to connect to our intuition which is where the magic happens. The heart has the power and capacity to give us direction and guide us to a more spiritually directed path, if we allow it to. The trick is allowing. We must have the confidence to listen to our hearts, to trust that Inner Knowing, even when the Itty Bitty Shitty Committee wants us desperately to abort our mission.
Can you imagine what would happen if we gave ourselves the love and attention we so deserve? If we followed through on our desires? If we decided once and for all to stop listening to the Trash Talk radio station that plays 24/7 in our heads? Can you imagine the transformation that would happen in our own lives? And the ripple effect it would cause?
Maybe, just maybe, we would be happier people. And then maybe, once we are saturated in self-love, we could start truly loving others. And our planet. We could end wars. Build communities that matter. Find ways to stop destroying this planet and ourselves.
I believe that it is possible.
Not too long ago, I picked up a musical instrument and started playing. A djembe, an ancient West African drum whose purpose is to call everyone together into community and to connect with spirit. I like to think this is my Higher Self calling out to me, inviting me to explore music again, something that I dearly love, while calling forth my own desire for community and to be of service to the world. This is what my heart tells me to do. This is why I do the work I do today.
The great Sufi poet Rumi said it best: “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
Melissa Charity Waldron is an award-winning former TV/radio producer of 20+ years, international best-selling author and sustainable food advocate. She is the founder of Red Hot Now, where soul purpose meets business strategy and online visibility. Melissa is on a mission to merge spirituality with business so that Spirit Conscious Entrepreneurs can unleash their potential and get seen, heard and valued for the gifts they bring to the world. You can find out more at redhotnow.com or connect with Melissa on Facebook or Twitter.